Tag Archives: Changes

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What a summer

Whew!  What a summer I’ve had.  It was full of stress and eventually peace of mind.  One of the big things that I did was finally sell my mother’s house.

I realize that I have been holding on to my mother’s house because it was one of the last remaining things that I could physically see and touch.  I struggled with the decision because of that but in the end…I couldn’t afford to keep it.  Not only that, but when I finally went back this summer, it just did not feel like hers anymore.  The place needed a lot of work and when I walked in, I just couldn’t feel her presence there anymore. I know that is a weird thing to say, but it’s true. I knew almost instantly that I was ready to let go.  So, it is done and I am at peace with the decision.

Also, I had not been getting my hair relaxed for the last two years.  In my heart, I knew I didn’t really love that decision but I decided to give it a try.  Well, my hair had been doing somewhat ok, but this summer it went crazy.  It started falling out non-stop.  Nothing I did was saving it or making it better.  It was just hard to manage and take care of.  Somedays, there were tears shed at the thought of having to even do it. I finally made the decision with the help of my hairdresser to put my relaxer back in and I felt so good after it was done!  I felt like myself again.

So between selling my house and getting my hair situation, all is so much better than when July first hit.  I’m ready for the holiday season!

Til next time….

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Happy New Year! 2018

^The picture above was at my personal trainer’s studio many years ago.

It’s a new year!  I am extremely happy to see the back end of 2017.  It wasn’t a horrible year, but it wasn’t a great one either.  I honestly can’t say that I achieve a single goal that I wanted in 2017.  As a matter of fact, I was very lax in everything last year.  I did nothing.  Well, I’m determined to make this year different.  I honestly want to take charge of my health and finances this year.  I’ve decided to tackle it month by month instead of making a goal for the year.  Well, I guess taking charge of my health and finances would be my goal for 2018, but I’m going to break it down in monthly goals.

My health is something that I need to get in control of.  Here is the honest truth..I’m diabetic and I have high blood pressure.  It’s not a good thing.  At all.  About 10 years ago, this started to rear its ugly head and I did my best to get out in front of it by hiring a personal trainer to help me with my fitness.  I was very involved in my nutrition by reading and researching everything I could online.  I counted calories, I stopped eating processed food.  I stopped drinking soda. I had pizza every once in a while (maybe once every other month).  I was ON IT!  And I was successful.  I dropped 50 lbs.  I lost many many inches and I felt good.  But, it was hard!  Anyone who tells you healthy living is easy is lying to you.  It was hard.  It was so hard only drinking water and taking more than 10 minutes looking over a menu when going out with friends to see what I could eat.  It came easier with time, but..still…it was hard.  At some point, I hit a plateau and that is honestly the most frustrating part of losing weight.  Plus I started to have financial problems because the recession was starting to hit….so I ended up losing momentum.

Well, here we are many years later and I’ve completely gotten off the wagon. I stopped working out.  I stopped paying attention to what I’m eating and here I am..taking pills for blood pressure and diabetes.  I don’t like it at all, so it has to change.  My goal for the month of January is to exercise five days a week.  I have a treadmill in my bedroom right next to the bed.  There is no excuse to not hop on it almost every single day for an evening walk.  So…there it is.  In writing.  Five days a week in the month of January.  I will add on to this goal in February.  Small steps is all I need.

Next is finances.  My finances spiraled out of control last year.  I did start to change things in the fall of last year, so I just want to continue that path.  I hate being in debt.  I hate credit cards.  I would love to pay cash for everything and have extra cash on hand for emergencies. I hope to never have to pick up a credit card again!  Again, when I bought my house over 10 years ago, I was completely debt free.  I had paid off every single credit card I had.  It was great.  I felt so accomplished.  I had set a goal and followed through.  I was proud of myself for doing it.  Today, I have about five credit cards, all with balances.  I’m ready to get rid of them all and that’s going to be my goal for 2018.  The month of January, I’m tackling the first card.  Lowe’s.  My goal is to pay this card completely off in January.  It’s about $160, but that’s money that I can free up to tackle the next card.  I also plan on putting about $200 in savings during January.  I plan on doing this by not dining out AT ALL during the month of January.  I will only eat what I have in the house.  I will be doing a strict monthly budget so that I can work to get both of these goals done and maybe even get a running jump on the February goal.

Well…here we go.  It’s all in writing. These are my goals for January.  2018 is a year for advancement.  Same old me…just a better version.

What will you be doing in 2018?

Talk to you all soon……..

 

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This Christmas

This Christmas is a first for me. I decided, along with my best friend, that we would not be putting up decorations or exchanging gifts. The only thing we are doing is hosting dinner at the house. I admit that it feels odd. There are many reasons that this decision was made on my part. To be honest, we didn’t celebrate any holidays in my house this year. I did cook for Thanksgiving, but I spent that holiday alone. I spent the day eating and hanging out in my pajamas.  It was good, but Christmas is different.

I love Christmas! It is my favorite time of the year. I think that the majority of people are really happy around this time. At least that has been my experience. There is always a little extra joy in the air. The Christmas carols, movies and just overall cheer puts almost everyone in a good mood.

I also admit that this time of the year can be very overwhelming for people who just feel that there is to much to do. The shopping, food preparing, decorating, and schedule juggling can be daunting. I get it. I’m fortunate..or unfortunate to some…to not have much immediate family (husband, children, parents). Because of this, I don’t have much juggling but I do have all of the other things to contend with.  My overall thoughts are Christmas is what you make it.

Christmas is, after all, the celebration of the birth of Christ. All of the other stuff is just extra. No one needs to go out and buy a ton of gifts or have an extravagant dinner. So whenever people say..the holiday has become so commercial, I think ‘It doesn’t have to be.’ Everyone needs to create their own thing and give their own spin to celebrating.  They should make it what they want or feel that is should be.

This year, I’ve decided to just do dinner. No need to buy me any gifts. I’m giving love on Christmas day…as the song says. That being said, I kind of missed the hustle and bustle. I probably will be putting a little gift giving back into the plans next year and I definitely will be decorating.  I miss my tree. I can’t wait for it to appear next year. You can check out my tree in previous years blog posts though if you want.  I normally put up two trees a year..my office tree and my tree at home.  It used to be three when my mom was alive.  This year, I only put up the office tree but I miss my home tree filled with my ornaments that have been accumulated over the years. So, yes it has been an unconventional Christmas for me but I think I needed the little reset.

Til next time……

 

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2017, Here I come.

It’s no secret that 2016 just was not kind to me.  I struggled with every aspect of my life.  My year was taken over by someone that was draining every bit of energy and joy from me and it affected me in a huge way.

I am determined to take my joy back this year though and just leave the past behind me.  I am ready to try very hard to make some big changes.  I want to work harder at keeping up with this blog.  My posts this past year was pretty sporadic, so I definitely want to change that.  I also want to work more on my fitness.  I want to get back to working out 5-6 times a week.  A few years ago, I had the best fitness regime and I want to get back to that. I also want to finish redecorating my bedroom.  I started that last year, but just stopped toward the middle of the year because I was so stressed about everything else. So now I sit in a half painted bedroom.   My new year resolution is always to be happy.  I don’t believe that I was last year, so I’m going to work on making that happen this year.  With my mom’s house pretty sorted, I feel that I should be able to get back to myself.

So….here’s to a new year! I hope it is wonderful for us all.

Talk to you all soon….

 

 

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Restless

Do you ever just want to get in the car and just drive until you run out of gas? I have dreamed about doing this so many times and just live in whatever small town I land in. Whenever I envision myself doing this, I always see me working in some diner like the movie, Alice doesn’t live here anymore, and better yet the series that followed, Alice!

I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like starting all over again. Lately, I have wanted to toss everything out of my house and just….start over. I think that this feeling is just a metaphor for how junky my life feels. It’s not just the things, it’s everything. Everything just feels a complete mess. What would it be like to not have feelings? Not have a care in the world? Not feel pain, sadness, boredom, etc. Is that selfishness?

Overwhelmed with feelings and maybe just a little sleep deprived.

Sharon