Ms. Independent?

I’m a forever single girl.  It’s my lot in life.  Because of this, I’m pretty independent.  I have to be. I don’t have anyone to fall back on if stuff happens.  The only person that I had to fall back on was my mom and she’s been gone for many years.  So now…it’s just me, and that’s ok.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a strange one because I spend the majority of my time alone and I like it. I’m used to it.  I grew up being used to it.  See, not only am I a single girl…I’m an only child.  I have always had to entertain myself when there was no one around.  I grew up spending a lot of time with friends and cousins, but mostly I was by myself.

When I was a teenager, I once saw this lady who I believe may have been in her 40’s walking across a street mumbling to herself about no needing anyone.  I always think this is a strange thing to remember because it was so random.  I sometimes wonder if that was younger me seeing a vision of older me? It’s odd to remember it so vividly, when I may not even remember what I had for dinner yesterday.

Sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have someone to lean on. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with things and it would be good to have someone say “I got you.” Then I come back to reality and just try my best to pull out my inner girl boss and handle stuff.

Anyways…these are just my early morning jumbled thoughts.

Til next time….

 

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Final Life Update (House)

For those who have been following my life updates regarding my house in another state, here is the final installment.  I have finally gotten rid of the trashy tenant. My aunt went to court on my behalf and the tenant showed up as well.  She signed an affidavit with the court that she would be out of the house on Sept. 15th.  If we had no agreed to allow her to do that, we would have had to go back to court at a later date for an official eviction.  I want even go into the stupid eviction laws that allow tenants to stay in your property for such a long time, but anyway she is out.

She actually was not out on the 15th, she was done moving on the 16th which we could have gotten her on violating the affidavit.  When we got to the house on the 16th, she had changed the locks to the security doors and we had to get a locksmith there to open up.  Yes, I have been bleeding money throughout this entire process.   When my aunt got in, that’s when we realized that she had not finished moving out because there was so much stuff still in there. Ironically, she showed up as the locks were being changed and told my aunt that she would have to come back after work to get the rest of her belongings.  My aunt told her to just call her and she would meet her there.  Of course, my aunt was in bed when she called so told her that she would meet her the next day.  The next day, my aunt went there and all of her stuff had been moved out.  THEY BROKE INTO THE HOUSE.  At this point, I’m over it all.  As long as she’s gone, I don’t really care.

So my aunt takes a look at the house and she says it’s really dirty but other than that..it’s ok.  Well I got many pictures and the house was a giant mess. There were even holes in two walls.  I know that I probably got away luckier than some that it wasn’t worse, but it is still bad.  I don’t think they had cleaned the house in years.  They left a stove and refrigerator there that was disgusting and smelled.  The dust in the place was atleast 2″ high on every nook and cranny.  Cobwebs in almost every corner and along the walls.  The house now has roaches which we are presently trying to exterminate. It’s been a big mess.   The tenant that was going to move in has decided not to move in because of the state of the house…so I’m left with carrying the mortgage myself for even longer.

However, I am at a point where I can move on.  Hopefully this is the worst it will ever be.  I will take this as a huge lesson and not letting my heart affect my business sense. I should have thrown her out years ago.  I know that.  I waited to long.  It’s a tough lesson learned, but I know now.  I won’t make the mistake again.

Thank you for following my little dramatic journey.  Hopefully I can now go back to my regularly scheduled programming!

 

Some things that I’ve learned these past few months.

As you have read, I have been experiencing a lot of drama this past few months, so here are a few things that I have learned the hard way.

  1. People use the word “love” so haphazardly.  I wonder if they even know the meaning of it.
  2. Many people want to see you fail even if they won’t say it out loud.
  3. Some people only believe in helping others if there is something in it for them.
  4. Family will betray you.
  5. Everyone likes a bit of drama as long as they can watch from the sidelines.
  6. Do not do business with family.  This is something that I had always known, but failed to follow through on.  Twice.
  7. Even though it’s hard, don’t stoop to a negative person’s level.
  8. Try not to hate.  I really see why people can get violent now, but really try to stay above that.
  9. Pray, meditate, exercise….whatever.  I’ve had to find things to keep my mind off of everything.  Not as bad as when my mom passed and I could only sleep with the t.v. on so that I would stop thinking so much about it..but on a smaller scale.
  10. Don’t dwell on the past or the would have, should haves.  Take the situation for the lesson that it was and try no to repeat it.

Life Drama #3

Well, the saga continues with the woman living in the house in Wisconsin.  I had contacted the water company regarding the outstanding bill and they said that there could be a leak due to the extremely high bill.  They said they had sent a letter to the occupant but as of that day, no one from their office had been there to check the house.  I think she meant that they had not gotten a response to the letter sent.

So, I sent a letter to the tenant to give her 24 hour notice that someone would be at the house to inspect for water leaks and mow the lawn (which is her responsibility but has not been done).  I also text her this information as well.  She sends me a message back saying that the person (my uncle) can’t come that day but could come on Sunday.  I’m trying to be cordial to this girl even though she is being nasty to me.  I tell her that is fine but my uncle goes to church and can come after he gets out.

Today is Sunday.  Guess what?  My uncle gets there and her son tells him that he cannot come into the property because his mother is not home. See how this is playing out.  I request something, she requests to amend but then fails to follow through.  So my uncle can’t get into the property to check or fix leaks and meanwhile the water bill continues to increase MAJORLY.

By the way, per this girl, her son and daughter were moving out because of the eviction.  Everyone is still in the house.  Not paying rent.  Just squatting. And since this has all gone down, they have broken the glass in the front safety door.

Talk to you all again soon…..

Life Drama #2

I decided to write a little update to my original life drama post.  Writing about it is a little therapeutic for me.  If I don’t write, I will be cleaning like a mad person while trying to clear my mind.

So, when we left, my tenant was going to make me actually evict her because she wasn’t leaving.  Well, after speaking to her husband, she came to her senses and agreed to move peacefully but asked if I could give her until August 1st.  I agreed.  I’m not trying to make her life rough, but I’m trying to stop the financial bleeding that I am going to be experiencing once she leaves.  So, the beginning of last week, I reached out to her via text to find out what day she planned on moving.  I already have a new tenant moving in August 1st because we all agreed that she would be gone.  Well, I did not get a response.  On Thursday, I sent another test asking the same and got the response, “Not yet moved out working on it I’ll let you know.”  So this had me a little confused because what is she going to let me know? She has to be out by the 1st.  So I explain that to her and tell her that someone else is moving in on the 1st.  She goes on to tell me that she won’t be gone by the first  as if I’m just supposed to say “ok”.  Now she is inconveniencing not only me, but the person who has already notified her landlord that she was moving!

So of course, this led to another war of words where she tells me that I didn’t handle the situation like a woman and I should have called her to tell her that I wanted her out instead of sending her a typed letter.  People, I have talked to this woman until I am blue in the face about the late payments.  She continued to lie and be rude about the payments.  As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing more to talk about.  So after speaking with many people, I decide to proceed with the eviction process and notify her of that.  Although I had the 15 day notices put on her door, I did not mail it so that could have caused the case to be tossed out.  So I started over and sent her a 5 day notice, certified.   After a week goes by, I can take the notice to the sheriff’s office along with $130 to begin proceedings.

Well after I sent her the text notifying her that I was proceeding and giving my power of attorney to somewhere in the state so that I don’t have to take time off work, she calls me (I don’t answer because I have nothing more to say) and leaves me a lengthy, teary message on how she lost her job and she has no money.  Her kids won’t help her out.  Now, these grown up kids live with her rent free but supposedly now that she’s in a bind, they are all moving into their own places and she can’t go with! Ummmm…………

Honestly, I feel bad for her situation BUT I cannot afford to let her continue to live there for free!  She fails to understand my issue with her staying there and not paying me.  She has options that she is not using.  There are plenty of people who lose their jobs and have to make sacrifices and swallow their pride and ask for help from people that they may not want to.  In my opinion, she has burned so many bridges with people by her crap attitude and lies that no one wants to get involved.  But I know she has family and friends.  She needs to humbly go to them.  I WON’T stop the eviction.  I can’t.  At this point, I’m already $4500 in the hole which she fails to get through her thick skull.

Anyways, the saga continues.  I just want the toxicity of this person and this situation to go away.  Its truly ruining my normally peaceful existence.

Bye for now…..

 

 

Life Drama

Sometimes, no matter how kind of a person you are or how you try to keep your life drama free, unkind situations seem to find you.  I live a relatively low key life.  I mind my own business and stay neutral in all situations.  This is a story on bad business on my part but also a life learning one.

This week, I have been dragged into a little drama.  I inherited my mother’s house after she passed away.  I live in another state and I really didn’t have the time or energy to be there to try to sell it.  So, I decided to let family stay in it.  I only have two requirements for living in this house.  The first requirement is to pay the rent and water bill on time.  The second requirement is to keep the house up.  That’s it.  If they are able to do that, I let them stay for low rent (only the mortgage).  I’m not trying to make money off of it.  Just want to offer something nice to family members and close friends.

Well, I know that if my mom knew all the situations that I would be in by just holding on to her house, she would have sold it.  I know this because she asked me if I wanted her to and I told her NO.  I was already losing her.  I didn’t want to lose something else that she took pride in having.  Anyway, I have a cousin that I decided to let move in.  I love him!  He is one of my favorite people in this world.  His wife, however, is not. My cousin got into trouble almost two years ago and is now in jail.  His wife is still in the house and now responsible for paying the rent and taking care of things.  Well, here is where things start on a downward spiral.

Since the very beginning of her taking over, she has been late with the payments.  Her husband even paid her ahead, unknowingly to her.  But she used up those payments within the first year.  She didn’t pay one dime on the water bill which then got tacked on to the taxes causing the mortgage cost to raise.  She is constantly making plans that she doesn’t keep.  For a while, I would pay the mortgage so that it would not be late because she would say she would pay by a certain date.  She frequently reneged on those promises so I had to stop doing that because it was causing me financial stress. Well, this woman has frequently told me that she can’t afford the mortgage because she’s not making a lot of money.  So, I’m thinking well she’s going to move out.  I would have completely understood.  But she stays and continues to pay late, then suddenly she will catch up and start the non-paying all over again.  I explained to her several times that she has to pay on time because I’m getting letters from the bank.  The bank has also sent letters to the house, which she unlawfully opens and does not mention them to me.  She even took them to other people to look at, but I digress!  Now, she has told me several times that if I want her to move that she would.  So after the last month of continuous lies and non-communication, I took the initiative and gave her notice to move. I explained to her previously about what my expectations for the month of July was and she broke her promises.  Well now she has a problem with it.  She tells me that she’s not going to move and that I will have to take her to court!  This is what I am dealing with.  A chronic liar with no morals.  I just have no words for the situation.  Does she even realize that getting evicted through the court mean that no one will rent to her?  NO ONE.  Where is she going to stay?  So now, I have to take time off and head to another state to take her to court.  Part of me just want to call the bank and tell them to foreclose and part wants to proceed with the court process.  Either way, doing business with family have proven to be a mistake.  I have heard it said before, but didn’t listen.  Now I will.  Now I will try to learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others.

End of Story.

 

 

Love/Hate Tag

I recently saw this tag and thought it was pretty simple to do.  It also will be fun to come up with my list, so here I go.

10 things I love

1.  Weekends.  I’m living for them.

2.  Great music.  The kind that makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs and can’t help dancing to.

3.  Going to the beach anywhere.  There is nothing like sitting on the beach watching the water and just relaxing

4.  My house.  I just love being at home.

5.  YouTube.  I’m obsessed with daily vlogs.  I also just love that you can find anything you need to learn about.

6.  Social media.  I love reading what other people are getting into.

7.  Finding new clothes or cosmetics. You know…me being a shopping addict and all.

8.  Peace.  I love having time to myself.

9.  Summer.  It’s my favorite season.  I know it can get really really hot, but that’s better than the cold.

10.  Being genuinely happy about anything.

10 things I hate

1.  People over-complicating anything.  Keep it simple, please.  Everything doesn’t have to be so difficult.

2.  Fighting/arguing.  I just have never been a fan of cruelty or meanness.

3. Anyone taking advantage of me.

4.  Cleaning, I just deep cleaned my house and I still hurt.

5.  Cold weather

6.  Not being able to figure out this thing we call life.

7.  Diet soft drinks.  Accidentally giving me a diet drink is the one thing a restaurant can do to make me truly mad.

8.  Reality tv.  I don’t really like scripted reality.  What’s real about that?

9.  Racism/Sexism, etc.  – Anything with people hating others for who they are.  Learn to accept people’s differences.  I still struggle with understanding this kind of hatred.  It’s disgusting.

10.  Being sick.  I get so whiny.