What a summer

Whew!  What a summer I’ve had.  It was full of stress and eventually peace of mind.  One of the big things that I did was finally sell my mother’s house.

I realize that I have been holding on to my mother’s house because it was one of the last remaining things that I could physically see and touch.  I struggled with the decision because of that but in the end…I couldn’t afford to keep it.  Not only that, but when I finally went back this summer, it just did not feel like hers anymore.  The place needed a lot of work and when I walked in, I just couldn’t feel her presence there anymore. I know that is a weird thing to say, but it’s true. I knew almost instantly that I was ready to let go.  So, it is done and I am at peace with the decision.

Also, I had not been getting my hair relaxed for the last two years.  In my heart, I knew I didn’t really love that decision but I decided to give it a try.  Well, my hair had been doing somewhat ok, but this summer it went crazy.  It started falling out non-stop.  Nothing I did was saving it or making it better.  It was just hard to manage and take care of.  Somedays, there were tears shed at the thought of having to even do it. I finally made the decision with the help of my hairdresser to put my relaxer back in and I felt so good after it was done!  I felt like myself again.

So between selling my house and getting my hair situation, all is so much better than when July first hit.  I’m ready for the holiday season!

Til next time….

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Fighting for the same cause?

*****LOST, UNFINISHED POST*****

*****RANDOM THOUGHTS*****

This week, as I have been watching and reading bloggers and vloggers that I am subscribed to, I have been pulled into a dispute among some body positive creators.  Now, I love this movement because I am all for it!  I think that as long as you are happy and healthy, you should be able to look any way you choose.  It has always bothered me that the health community try to put everyone in a bubble according to height and size.  Not every 5’3 person is going to be 125 lbs or whatever weight that stupid chart tells them they should be.  There are many facets to body shapes which are not conducive to that chart, but I digress.

Back to the subject at hand.  There are so many parts of this cause that you can choose to be in.  Everyone can pick a corner, a different corner, and still be pushing for the same end goal. It reminds me of the message in the movie School Daze which had the light skinned black people vs. the dark skinned black people.  You are all black!  In this regard, the 250 lb plus size person vs. the 400 lb plus size person, you are both plus sized!  So, part of the argument was that someone felt that you couldn’t  be body positive if you have decided to join weight watchers or Nutrisystem.  First of all, no one knows the health situation of each individual.  Maybe the person is joining to drop the pounds for health reasons, or maybe she just want to be the best person that she feels that she can be. The truth is, you don’t even have to be plus size to be a part of the body positive community.  Body positivity means you an accept yourself and others no matter what their size is, correct?  By saying that this person can’t have involvement with weight loss program and be body positive is like saying plus size person who enjoys exercising can’t be body positive.  It’s a stereotype.

My point is…worry about the part of this cause that bothers you the most and let the other person worry about the part that bothers them the most.  If you are anti diets, fine.  Don’t focus on that part, but don’t try to tear down someone who is ok with.

Til next time…..

My Grandmother

It’s my late grandmother’s birthday.  I was reminded of this by my aunts on Facebook, and I’m glad I was.  I called my grandmother, Mun.  I’m pretty sure it is because my mother and her siblings called her Ma, but I mistook it for Mun.  Now I just consider it my special name for her.  My grandmother passed away when I was seven years old.  I had such love for her.

I still remember things that we did.  I remember her making me cornbread and buttermilk, and even pig ears in vinegar.  This is stuff I would NEVER eat now.  My mom and aunts said that I was a picky eater and would never eat a lot of things, so my mun would just make me biscuits and I would always eat that.

I was with my grandmother a lot when I was a baby.  I loved spending the night at her house.  Her and my mom were the most influential people in my life.  I just remember how strong she was as a single woman (widowed) with eleven children. You didn’t mess with her either.  I never heard her complain about a thing.  She was an avid church goer and dragged all of her kids and grand kids along with her.  It was a huge family and she managed to keep us all together.  There are so many stories that I could probably share, but ultimately I just want to say Happy Birthday, Mun.  I love you.  I think of you a lot.  I hope that you and my mom are having the best time on your day.

Til next time….

2017, Here I come.

It’s no secret that 2016 just was not kind to me.  I struggled with every aspect of my life.  My year was taken over by someone that was draining every bit of energy and joy from me and it affected me in a huge way.

I am determined to take my joy back this year though and just leave the past behind me.  I am ready to try very hard to make some big changes.  I want to work harder at keeping up with this blog.  My posts this past year was pretty sporadic, so I definitely want to change that.  I also want to work more on my fitness.  I want to get back to working out 5-6 times a week.  A few years ago, I had the best fitness regime and I want to get back to that. I also want to finish redecorating my bedroom.  I started that last year, but just stopped toward the middle of the year because I was so stressed about everything else. So now I sit in a half painted bedroom.   My new year resolution is always to be happy.  I don’t believe that I was last year, so I’m going to work on making that happen this year.  With my mom’s house pretty sorted, I feel that I should be able to get back to myself.

So….here’s to a new year! I hope it is wonderful for us all.

Talk to you all soon….

 

 

Final Life Update (House)

For those who have been following my life updates regarding my house in another state, here is the final installment.  I have finally gotten rid of the trashy tenant. My aunt went to court on my behalf and the tenant showed up as well.  She signed an affidavit with the court that she would be out of the house on Sept. 15th.  If we had no agreed to allow her to do that, we would have had to go back to court at a later date for an official eviction.  I want even go into the stupid eviction laws that allow tenants to stay in your property for such a long time, but anyway she is out.

She actually was not out on the 15th, she was done moving on the 16th which we could have gotten her on violating the affidavit.  When we got to the house on the 16th, she had changed the locks to the security doors and we had to get a locksmith there to open up.  Yes, I have been bleeding money throughout this entire process.   When my aunt got in, that’s when we realized that she had not finished moving out because there was so much stuff still in there. Ironically, she showed up as the locks were being changed and told my aunt that she would have to come back after work to get the rest of her belongings.  My aunt told her to just call her and she would meet her there.  Of course, my aunt was in bed when she called so told her that she would meet her the next day.  The next day, my aunt went there and all of her stuff had been moved out.  THEY BROKE INTO THE HOUSE.  At this point, I’m over it all.  As long as she’s gone, I don’t really care.

So my aunt takes a look at the house and she says it’s really dirty but other than that..it’s ok.  Well I got many pictures and the house was a giant mess. There were even holes in two walls.  I know that I probably got away luckier than some that it wasn’t worse, but it is still bad.  I don’t think they had cleaned the house in years.  They left a stove and refrigerator there that was disgusting and smelled.  The dust in the place was atleast 2″ high on every nook and cranny.  Cobwebs in almost every corner and along the walls.  The house now has roaches which we are presently trying to exterminate. It’s been a big mess.   The tenant that was going to move in has decided not to move in because of the state of the house…so I’m left with carrying the mortgage myself for even longer.

However, I am at a point where I can move on.  Hopefully this is the worst it will ever be.  I will take this as a huge lesson and not letting my heart affect my business sense. I should have thrown her out years ago.  I know that.  I waited to long.  It’s a tough lesson learned, but I know now.  I won’t make the mistake again.

Thank you for following my little dramatic journey.  Hopefully I can now go back to my regularly scheduled programming!

 

Some things that I’ve learned these past few months.

As you have read, I have been experiencing a lot of drama this past few months, so here are a few things that I have learned the hard way.

  1. People use the word “love” so haphazardly.  I wonder if they even know the meaning of it.
  2. Many people want to see you fail even if they won’t say it out loud.
  3. Some people only believe in helping others if there is something in it for them.
  4. Family will betray you.
  5. Everyone likes a bit of drama as long as they can watch from the sidelines.
  6. Do not do business with family.  This is something that I had always known, but failed to follow through on.  Twice.
  7. Even though it’s hard, don’t stoop to a negative person’s level.
  8. Try not to hate.  I really see why people can get violent now, but really try to stay above that.
  9. Pray, meditate, exercise….whatever.  I’ve had to find things to keep my mind off of everything.  Not as bad as when my mom passed and I could only sleep with the t.v. on so that I would stop thinking so much about it..but on a smaller scale.
  10. Don’t dwell on the past or the would have, should haves.  Take the situation for the lesson that it was and try no to repeat it.

My top favorite romantic movies

I was just sitting here thinking of all of the romantic movies that I can watch over and over and decided to share my list of top ten. Controversially, I would have added Fifty Shades of Grey to the list, but I  think I need to give it a few more years.  The Wedding Date was also a contender. What are some of your favorites?

  1.  Gidget
  2. Sixteen Candles
  3. Love Jones
  4. The Sound of Music
  5. Tammy and the Bachelor
  6. Pillow Talk
  7. French Kiss
  8. Something New
  9. The Holiday
  10. Pretty Woman