A couple of favorites

A few months ago before the craziness that we are now in, I went on a small shopping spree at the Shoppes of Atlanta.  The past year, I have been trying not to purchase new make up simply because I would like to use up all of the items that I have.  That didn’t stop me from stopping into The Cosmetics Store.  It also didn’t stop me from buying two new favorites that I added to my already full makeup drawers.  I know!  I am my own enabler.  🙂

I have been wearing this lipstick and blush pairing regularly since I got them.  The lipstick is by Mac and named Stay Curious.  It is one of their Powder Kiss lipsticks.  I absolutely love it.  It came out early last year I believe, but since I was in a no buy mindset, I had no idea it existed.  It has a matte look which is my favorite, but not drying.  It’s a very flattering color and I imagine it would be flattering on any skin tone.  I usually wear it with my chestnut lip liner but it’s really not necessary.  I can just throw it on and it looks great.

The blush I purchased is by Becca.  The color is Tigerlily.  It’s gorgeous and luminous.  I love blushed but just don’t go through them very quickly.  Knowing that, I’m glad that I seem to be using this one a lot and can actually see an indentation from use.   It almost makes me feel less guilty from purchasing it.

That’s just my rambled for today.  Everyone…take care and stay safe and healthy.

Til next time…….

 

Friendship and Mental Health

Wow!  I have taken such a long break from my blog, but it’s been a crazy and hectic new year so far.  Things have finally quieted down a little and this felt like the perfect moment to do an update.  My life was thrown a pretty big curve ball in January.

If I thought the stress of last summer was getting to me, it was nothing compared to the beginning of this year.  Long story short…my best friend and roommate, the person a consider my sister…attempted suicide.  Depression is a serious thing!  I’ve always known that, but until you have to deal with something like this, you will never know how bad it can be.

I knew she was “a little down” during the holidays.  I put this in parenthesis because it was so much more serious than that.  She had talked to me a little about it and I would try my best to give her encouraging words.  Obviously it didn’t help.  When a person has it in their head that all is lost, there’s not much you can do to defeat the negativity.  Of course, I didn’t know how severe the situation was until January 2nd when the attempt was made.  I thank God everyday that she was unsuccessful and that she came to her right mind to call someone for help!  I don’t really want to go into details, but I’m so happy that she failed in each attempt.

At the time, the house was getting a little overhaul with paint so my mind was also preoccupied with other things.  But all in all, I feel that I missed the signs.  I should have asked more questions and checked in on her more regularly, but we are not your typical roommates.  We don’t spend every day today and sometimes can go days without seeing or speaking.  That was normal.  We both like our space.  So, the only thing that seemed out of the ordinary was how quiet she seemed.  Normally, I could hear her television or music going in her room, but that month of December, it was just quiet.  She just generally seemed disengaged.  Also, she had stopped answering people’s calls.  This isn’t really abnormal for her as she isn’t super attached to her phone, but we were planning a trip for Christmas and the day before…she just wouldn’t answer anyone’s call.  I started asking if she was okay and if she needed anything and she would just say that she was sick.  She had been having stomach issues.  She also said she had the chills or flu like symptoms, which in hindsight I believe the negative thinking and depression had started to produce physical ailments.  I’ve learned so much about depression in these last months and we’ve had to change up a few of our norms.

Now, I have to constantly check in with her.  She was hospitalized for two weeks and now have a therapist and psychiatrist.  I have to check her medications. I’ve tried to incorporate at least one night a week where we can sit down at the dinner table and eat and just generally catch up with things.  I am trying not to be to intrusive and still allow her space…because she has insinuated her need for that BUT I also realize that I can’t give her the space that I once did.  Since I am the person that is around her the most, I feel the most responsible for making sure that she is keeping up with her mental health and utilizing all of the coping mechanisms that she has been taught. It’s still a little stressful because this is a big change.

All I really want to say to everyone who may be dealing with something like this is to be aware.  If your loved one is acting differently and just don’t seem to be engaged in communicating with your or just in life in general.  Ask Questions!  Keep Asking Questions!  Keep checking on them even if it seems over the top.  Get them help even when they tell you they don’t want it.  Take them to the ER even though they may not want to go.  Call for help.  That’s all.

Til next time…….

What a summer

Whew!  What a summer I’ve had.  It was full of stress and eventually peace of mind.  One of the big things that I did was finally sell my mother’s house.

I realize that I have been holding on to my mother’s house because it was one of the last remaining things that I could physically see and touch.  I struggled with the decision because of that but in the end…I couldn’t afford to keep it.  Not only that, but when I finally went back this summer, it just did not feel like hers anymore.  The place needed a lot of work and when I walked in, I just couldn’t feel her presence there anymore. I know that is a weird thing to say, but it’s true. I knew almost instantly that I was ready to let go.  So, it is done and I am at peace with the decision.

Also, I had not been getting my hair relaxed for the last two years.  In my heart, I knew I didn’t really love that decision but I decided to give it a try.  Well, my hair had been doing somewhat ok, but this summer it went crazy.  It started falling out non-stop.  Nothing I did was saving it or making it better.  It was just hard to manage and take care of.  Somedays, there were tears shed at the thought of having to even do it. I finally made the decision with the help of my hairdresser to put my relaxer back in and I felt so good after it was done!  I felt like myself again.

So between selling my house and getting my hair situation, all is so much better than when July first hit.  I’m ready for the holiday season!

Til next time….

Fighting for the same cause?

*****LOST, UNFINISHED POST*****

*****RANDOM THOUGHTS*****

This week, as I have been watching and reading bloggers and vloggers that I am subscribed to, I have been pulled into a dispute among some body positive creators.  Now, I love this movement because I am all for it!  I think that as long as you are happy and healthy, you should be able to look any way you choose.  It has always bothered me that the health community try to put everyone in a bubble according to height and size.  Not every 5’3 person is going to be 125 lbs or whatever weight that stupid chart tells them they should be.  There are many facets to body shapes which are not conducive to that chart, but I digress.

Back to the subject at hand.  There are so many parts of this cause that you can choose to be in.  Everyone can pick a corner, a different corner, and still be pushing for the same end goal. It reminds me of the message in the movie School Daze which had the light skinned black people vs. the dark skinned black people.  You are all black!  In this regard, the 250 lb plus size person vs. the 400 lb plus size person, you are both plus sized!  So, part of the argument was that someone felt that you couldn’t  be body positive if you have decided to join weight watchers or Nutrisystem.  First of all, no one knows the health situation of each individual.  Maybe the person is joining to drop the pounds for health reasons, or maybe she just want to be the best person that she feels that she can be. The truth is, you don’t even have to be plus size to be a part of the body positive community.  Body positivity means you an accept yourself and others no matter what their size is, correct?  By saying that this person can’t have involvement with weight loss program and be body positive is like saying plus size person who enjoys exercising can’t be body positive.  It’s a stereotype.

My point is…worry about the part of this cause that bothers you the most and let the other person worry about the part that bothers them the most.  If you are anti diets, fine.  Don’t focus on that part, but don’t try to tear down someone who is ok with.

Til next time…..

My Grandmother

It’s my late grandmother’s birthday.  I was reminded of this by my aunts on Facebook, and I’m glad I was.  I called my grandmother, Mun.  I’m pretty sure it is because my mother and her siblings called her Ma, but I mistook it for Mun.  Now I just consider it my special name for her.  My grandmother passed away when I was seven years old.  I had such love for her.

I still remember things that we did.  I remember her making me cornbread and buttermilk, and even pig ears in vinegar.  This is stuff I would NEVER eat now.  My mom and aunts said that I was a picky eater and would never eat a lot of things, so my mun would just make me biscuits and I would always eat that.

I was with my grandmother a lot when I was a baby.  I loved spending the night at her house.  Her and my mom were the most influential people in my life.  I just remember how strong she was as a single woman (widowed) with eleven children. You didn’t mess with her either.  I never heard her complain about a thing.  She was an avid church goer and dragged all of her kids and grand kids along with her.  It was a huge family and she managed to keep us all together.  There are so many stories that I could probably share, but ultimately I just want to say Happy Birthday, Mun.  I love you.  I think of you a lot.  I hope that you and my mom are having the best time on your day.

Til next time….

2017, Here I come.

It’s no secret that 2016 just was not kind to me.  I struggled with every aspect of my life.  My year was taken over by someone that was draining every bit of energy and joy from me and it affected me in a huge way.

I am determined to take my joy back this year though and just leave the past behind me.  I am ready to try very hard to make some big changes.  I want to work harder at keeping up with this blog.  My posts this past year was pretty sporadic, so I definitely want to change that.  I also want to work more on my fitness.  I want to get back to working out 5-6 times a week.  A few years ago, I had the best fitness regime and I want to get back to that. I also want to finish redecorating my bedroom.  I started that last year, but just stopped toward the middle of the year because I was so stressed about everything else. So now I sit in a half painted bedroom.   My new year resolution is always to be happy.  I don’t believe that I was last year, so I’m going to work on making that happen this year.  With my mom’s house pretty sorted, I feel that I should be able to get back to myself.

So….here’s to a new year! I hope it is wonderful for us all.

Talk to you all soon….

 

 

Final Life Update (House)

For those who have been following my life updates regarding my house in another state, here is the final installment.  I have finally gotten rid of the trashy tenant. My aunt went to court on my behalf and the tenant showed up as well.  She signed an affidavit with the court that she would be out of the house on Sept. 15th.  If we had no agreed to allow her to do that, we would have had to go back to court at a later date for an official eviction.  I want even go into the stupid eviction laws that allow tenants to stay in your property for such a long time, but anyway she is out.

She actually was not out on the 15th, she was done moving on the 16th which we could have gotten her on violating the affidavit.  When we got to the house on the 16th, she had changed the locks to the security doors and we had to get a locksmith there to open up.  Yes, I have been bleeding money throughout this entire process.   When my aunt got in, that’s when we realized that she had not finished moving out because there was so much stuff still in there. Ironically, she showed up as the locks were being changed and told my aunt that she would have to come back after work to get the rest of her belongings.  My aunt told her to just call her and she would meet her there.  Of course, my aunt was in bed when she called so told her that she would meet her the next day.  The next day, my aunt went there and all of her stuff had been moved out.  THEY BROKE INTO THE HOUSE.  At this point, I’m over it all.  As long as she’s gone, I don’t really care.

So my aunt takes a look at the house and she says it’s really dirty but other than that..it’s ok.  Well I got many pictures and the house was a giant mess. There were even holes in two walls.  I know that I probably got away luckier than some that it wasn’t worse, but it is still bad.  I don’t think they had cleaned the house in years.  They left a stove and refrigerator there that was disgusting and smelled.  The dust in the place was atleast 2″ high on every nook and cranny.  Cobwebs in almost every corner and along the walls.  The house now has roaches which we are presently trying to exterminate. It’s been a big mess.   The tenant that was going to move in has decided not to move in because of the state of the house…so I’m left with carrying the mortgage myself for even longer.

However, I am at a point where I can move on.  Hopefully this is the worst it will ever be.  I will take this as a huge lesson and not letting my heart affect my business sense. I should have thrown her out years ago.  I know that.  I waited to long.  It’s a tough lesson learned, but I know now.  I won’t make the mistake again.

Thank you for following my little dramatic journey.  Hopefully I can now go back to my regularly scheduled programming!