Loving the stripes

Here are a few outfits that I have worn in the past weeks.  I have always loved stripes, but I’m having an even greater love for them right now.  As a matter of fact, I’m wearing stripes right now.

Outfit #1, top from Divas & Dames, pants from Lane Bryant (linked below), shoes are from Belk

https://www.lanebryant.com/allie-smart-stretch-crop/prd-348585#color/0000007780

Outfit #2, Top and jeans from Lane Bryant (linked below), shoes from jane.com

https://www.lanebryant.com/bell-sleeve-off-the-shoulder-top/prd-348422#color/0000007904

Outfit #3, Top from Old Navy (linked below), pants from Lane Bryant (same style as the striped ones above) and shoes from Target.

https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1105376&pcid=7240&vid=8&pid=282998002

 

Til next time……

 

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There will be better days

****Random Thoughts****

After my mother passed away in 2004, I was so down that I just felt numb.  I remember thinking at that time that I no longer cared what happened to me.  My exact thoughts were “I could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t care.”  I was numb to everything.  It felt as if I were in a black hole and everything just was constantly swirling.  My mind was swirling, my body even felt like it was moving in circles when I would lay down.

I had issues with feeling depressed before my mother passed away.  I had even been temporarily put on medication.  The reasons for my issues were always that I just didn’t feel happy.

About a month after I was put on anti-depressants, I went home to my mom and she asked why I was depressed.  At the time, I probably told her that I didn’t know.  I knew why I was.  It’s the reason that I feel a lot of people are.  Failure.  I preface this next information with I knew my mother was very sick and I knew that my mother was going to pass away at some point sooner than later.  After I told my mother about the antidepressants,  my mother looked me in the eye and said “Sharon, I have a terminal illness.  I’m going to die.  I’m on anti-depressants. ”  This was her way of pretty much telling me that I should not feel bad about my life.  I’m sure she said more, but this was the main part that I remembered.

My point in writing this down is pretty much to remind myself that there will be better days.  I have a lifetime ahead of me (hopefully).  I have time to change the things that I’m not happy with and I just have to stay patient and keep powering through.

I’m not on medication.  I still have down days and times where I just feel worthless and as if nothing will ever go my way.  When I’m feeling like this, I always think of my mom and her words to me.  So I take a break, gather my thoughts, take a deep breath and prepare for tomorrow.

Til next time…….

 

Fighting for the same cause?

*****LOST, UNFINISHED POST*****

*****RANDOM THOUGHTS*****

This week, as I have been watching and reading bloggers and vloggers that I am subscribed to, I have been pulled into a dispute among some body positive creators.  Now, I love this movement because I am all for it!  I think that as long as you are happy and healthy, you should be able to look any way you choose.  It has always bothered me that the health community try to put everyone in a bubble according to height and size.  Not every 5’3 person is going to be 125 lbs or whatever weight that stupid chart tells them they should be.  There are many facets to body shapes which are not conducive to that chart, but I digress.

Back to the subject at hand.  There are so many parts of this cause that you can choose to be in.  Everyone can pick a corner, a different corner, and still be pushing for the same end goal. It reminds me of the message in the movie School Daze which had the light skinned black people vs. the dark skinned black people.  You are all black!  In this regard, the 250 lb plus size person vs. the 400 lb plus size person, you are both plus sized!  So, part of the argument was that someone felt that you couldn’t  be body positive if you have decided to join weight watchers or Nutrisystem.  First of all, no one knows the health situation of each individual.  Maybe the person is joining to drop the pounds for health reasons, or maybe she just want to be the best person that she feels that she can be. The truth is, you don’t even have to be plus size to be a part of the body positive community.  Body positivity means you an accept yourself and others no matter what their size is, correct?  By saying that this person can’t have involvement with weight loss program and be body positive is like saying plus size person who enjoys exercising can’t be body positive.  It’s a stereotype.

My point is…worry about the part of this cause that bothers you the most and let the other person worry about the part that bothers them the most.  If you are anti diets, fine.  Don’t focus on that part, but don’t try to tear down someone who is ok with.

Til next time…..

Update on my New Year Goals

Well, it has been some time since I wrote on my blog.  Half the year is gone and I have been thinking about how I have done with my goals for the new year.    There has been some good and some not so good.

The good has been that I successfully paid off one credit card and have managed to keep it paid off.  Now I’m working on the next one. I successfully eliminated meat from my diet for the entire month of January. It was an interesting and eye opening experience.  Once I put my mind to it, I did not have any issues at all with the no meat thing.  I altered a lot of meals to be meatless just by adding mushrooms.  I may decide to do another month in the future.

I was incredibly focused on my goals during the month of January, but one goal fell well short!  Physical fitness, weight loss, etc.  Honestly, I did nothing.  I concentrated on the eating and finances, but did not incorporate any changes to my exercise habits which is one thing that I really wanted to do.  I really do need to get it in gear for health reasons.  I am going to continue to work on this.

Well, that’s it.  I hope to have even better news to share in the future.

Til next time…..

Going Solo

***Lost Post*****

As a single girl, I often go to dinner and movies alone.  Tonight was the first time I had done it in a while and I noticed a lot of eyes on me.  Now, whenever I am being stared at, I instantly think something is wrong with the way I’m looking.  So I reach up to smooth down my hair or look for a mirror, but I realize that nothing is off in the way that I look. It’s just that I am alone.

The reason that I was being stared at was because I was dining alone.  Are people thinking that I have no friends?  Why would I be spending a Friday or Saturday night eating alone?  The truth?  I enjoy it.  I enjoy feeling like I do not need to wait on someone to go have a meal out, or go to a movie, or do anything that people would think is typical to do in groups.  Ultimately, I enjoy my alone time probably more than I should.  I think everyone should try it.  Just spend a little time to yourself enjoying a meal, a movie, or just a little people watch in the park.  I spend a lot of time just clearing my head and making plans.  Give it a try.  Let me know how it went.

Til next time……

 

 

Happy New Year! 2018

^The picture above was at my personal trainer’s studio many years ago.

It’s a new year!  I am extremely happy to see the back end of 2017.  It wasn’t a horrible year, but it wasn’t a great one either.  I honestly can’t say that I achieve a single goal that I wanted in 2017.  As a matter of fact, I was very lax in everything last year.  I did nothing.  Well, I’m determined to make this year different.  I honestly want to take charge of my health and finances this year.  I’ve decided to tackle it month by month instead of making a goal for the year.  Well, I guess taking charge of my health and finances would be my goal for 2018, but I’m going to break it down in monthly goals.

My health is something that I need to get in control of.  Here is the honest truth..I’m diabetic and I have high blood pressure.  It’s not a good thing.  At all.  About 10 years ago, this started to rear its ugly head and I did my best to get out in front of it by hiring a personal trainer to help me with my fitness.  I was very involved in my nutrition by reading and researching everything I could online.  I counted calories, I stopped eating processed food.  I stopped drinking soda. I had pizza every once in a while (maybe once every other month).  I was ON IT!  And I was successful.  I dropped 50 lbs.  I lost many many inches and I felt good.  But, it was hard!  Anyone who tells you healthy living is easy is lying to you.  It was hard.  It was so hard only drinking water and taking more than 10 minutes looking over a menu when going out with friends to see what I could eat.  It came easier with time, but..still…it was hard.  At some point, I hit a plateau and that is honestly the most frustrating part of losing weight.  Plus I started to have financial problems because the recession was starting to hit….so I ended up losing momentum.

Well, here we are many years later and I’ve completely gotten off the wagon. I stopped working out.  I stopped paying attention to what I’m eating and here I am..taking pills for blood pressure and diabetes.  I don’t like it at all, so it has to change.  My goal for the month of January is to exercise five days a week.  I have a treadmill in my bedroom right next to the bed.  There is no excuse to not hop on it almost every single day for an evening walk.  So…there it is.  In writing.  Five days a week in the month of January.  I will add on to this goal in February.  Small steps is all I need.

Next is finances.  My finances spiraled out of control last year.  I did start to change things in the fall of last year, so I just want to continue that path.  I hate being in debt.  I hate credit cards.  I would love to pay cash for everything and have extra cash on hand for emergencies. I hope to never have to pick up a credit card again!  Again, when I bought my house over 10 years ago, I was completely debt free.  I had paid off every single credit card I had.  It was great.  I felt so accomplished.  I had set a goal and followed through.  I was proud of myself for doing it.  Today, I have about five credit cards, all with balances.  I’m ready to get rid of them all and that’s going to be my goal for 2018.  The month of January, I’m tackling the first card.  Lowe’s.  My goal is to pay this card completely off in January.  It’s about $160, but that’s money that I can free up to tackle the next card.  I also plan on putting about $200 in savings during January.  I plan on doing this by not dining out AT ALL during the month of January.  I will only eat what I have in the house.  I will be doing a strict monthly budget so that I can work to get both of these goals done and maybe even get a running jump on the February goal.

Well…here we go.  It’s all in writing. These are my goals for January.  2018 is a year for advancement.  Same old me…just a better version.

What will you be doing in 2018?

Talk to you all soon……..

 

This Christmas

This Christmas is a first for me. I decided, along with my best friend, that we would not be putting up decorations or exchanging gifts. The only thing we are doing is hosting dinner at the house. I admit that it feels odd. There are many reasons that this decision was made on my part. To be honest, we didn’t celebrate any holidays in my house this year. I did cook for Thanksgiving, but I spent that holiday alone. I spent the day eating and hanging out in my pajamas.  It was good, but Christmas is different.

I love Christmas! It is my favorite time of the year. I think that the majority of people are really happy around this time. At least that has been my experience. There is always a little extra joy in the air. The Christmas carols, movies and just overall cheer puts almost everyone in a good mood.

I also admit that this time of the year can be very overwhelming for people who just feel that there is to much to do. The shopping, food preparing, decorating, and schedule juggling can be daunting. I get it. I’m fortunate..or unfortunate to some…to not have much immediate family (husband, children, parents). Because of this, I don’t have much juggling but I do have all of the other things to contend with.  My overall thoughts are Christmas is what you make it.

Christmas is, after all, the celebration of the birth of Christ. All of the other stuff is just extra. No one needs to go out and buy a ton of gifts or have an extravagant dinner. So whenever people say..the holiday has become so commercial, I think ‘It doesn’t have to be.’ Everyone needs to create their own thing and give their own spin to celebrating.  They should make it what they want or feel that is should be.

This year, I’ve decided to just do dinner. No need to buy me any gifts. I’m giving love on Christmas day…as the song says. That being said, I kind of missed the hustle and bustle. I probably will be putting a little gift giving back into the plans next year and I definitely will be decorating.  I miss my tree. I can’t wait for it to appear next year. You can check out my tree in previous years blog posts though if you want.  I normally put up two trees a year..my office tree and my tree at home.  It used to be three when my mom was alive.  This year, I only put up the office tree but I miss my home tree filled with my ornaments that have been accumulated over the years. So, yes it has been an unconventional Christmas for me but I think I needed the little reset.

Til next time……