Today is the day to vote!

There are two things that I took from my 9th grade Civics class.  I know that was forever ago, but that just tells you that I learned something

Thing number one is a quote that was posted up on his black board with is:  A person that thinks by the inch and talks by the yard should be kicked by the foot.    This has followed me for many years and have given me pause before to think before speaking.  So far..it’s worked for me.

Thing number two is the importance of exercising my right to vote.  I have voted in almost every election since I turned 18.  I want my voice to be heard even though sometimes I think it isn’t.  It’s important.  People died for that right!  I won’t squander it even when things are looking bleak.  I will still let my opinion know.  I hope that you will too.

Talk to you all soon….

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What a summer

Whew!  What a summer I’ve had.  It was full of stress and eventually peace of mind.  One of the big things that I did was finally sell my mother’s house.

I realize that I have been holding on to my mother’s house because it was one of the last remaining things that I could physically see and touch.  I struggled with the decision because of that but in the end…I couldn’t afford to keep it.  Not only that, but when I finally went back this summer, it just did not feel like hers anymore.  The place needed a lot of work and when I walked in, I just couldn’t feel her presence there anymore. I know that is a weird thing to say, but it’s true. I knew almost instantly that I was ready to let go.  So, it is done and I am at peace with the decision.

Also, I had not been getting my hair relaxed for the last two years.  In my heart, I knew I didn’t really love that decision but I decided to give it a try.  Well, my hair had been doing somewhat ok, but this summer it went crazy.  It started falling out non-stop.  Nothing I did was saving it or making it better.  It was just hard to manage and take care of.  Somedays, there were tears shed at the thought of having to even do it. I finally made the decision with the help of my hairdresser to put my relaxer back in and I felt so good after it was done!  I felt like myself again.

So between selling my house and getting my hair situation, all is so much better than when July first hit.  I’m ready for the holiday season!

Til next time….

There will be better days

****Random Thoughts****

After my mother passed away in 2004, I was so down that I just felt numb.  I remember thinking at that time that I no longer cared what happened to me.  My exact thoughts were “I could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t care.”  I was numb to everything.  It felt as if I were in a black hole and everything just was constantly swirling.  My mind was swirling, my body even felt like it was moving in circles when I would lay down.

I had issues with feeling depressed before my mother passed away.  I had even been temporarily put on medication.  The reasons for my issues were always that I just didn’t feel happy.

About a month after I was put on anti-depressants, I went home to my mom and she asked why I was depressed.  At the time, I probably told her that I didn’t know.  I knew why I was.  It’s the reason that I feel a lot of people are.  Failure.  I preface this next information with I knew my mother was very sick and I knew that my mother was going to pass away at some point sooner than later.  After I told my mother about the antidepressants,  my mother looked me in the eye and said “Sharon, I have a terminal illness.  I’m going to die.  I’m on anti-depressants. ”  This was her way of pretty much telling me that I should not feel bad about my life.  I’m sure she said more, but this was the main part that I remembered.

My point in writing this down is pretty much to remind myself that there will be better days.  I have a lifetime ahead of me (hopefully).  I have time to change the things that I’m not happy with and I just have to stay patient and keep powering through.

I’m not on medication.  I still have down days and times where I just feel worthless and as if nothing will ever go my way.  When I’m feeling like this, I always think of my mom and her words to me.  So I take a break, gather my thoughts, take a deep breath and prepare for tomorrow.

Til next time…….

 

Fighting for the same cause?

*****LOST, UNFINISHED POST*****

*****RANDOM THOUGHTS*****

This week, as I have been watching and reading bloggers and vloggers that I am subscribed to, I have been pulled into a dispute among some body positive creators.  Now, I love this movement because I am all for it!  I think that as long as you are happy and healthy, you should be able to look any way you choose.  It has always bothered me that the health community try to put everyone in a bubble according to height and size.  Not every 5’3 person is going to be 125 lbs or whatever weight that stupid chart tells them they should be.  There are many facets to body shapes which are not conducive to that chart, but I digress.

Back to the subject at hand.  There are so many parts of this cause that you can choose to be in.  Everyone can pick a corner, a different corner, and still be pushing for the same end goal. It reminds me of the message in the movie School Daze which had the light skinned black people vs. the dark skinned black people.  You are all black!  In this regard, the 250 lb plus size person vs. the 400 lb plus size person, you are both plus sized!  So, part of the argument was that someone felt that you couldn’t  be body positive if you have decided to join weight watchers or Nutrisystem.  First of all, no one knows the health situation of each individual.  Maybe the person is joining to drop the pounds for health reasons, or maybe she just want to be the best person that she feels that she can be. The truth is, you don’t even have to be plus size to be a part of the body positive community.  Body positivity means you an accept yourself and others no matter what their size is, correct?  By saying that this person can’t have involvement with weight loss program and be body positive is like saying plus size person who enjoys exercising can’t be body positive.  It’s a stereotype.

My point is…worry about the part of this cause that bothers you the most and let the other person worry about the part that bothers them the most.  If you are anti diets, fine.  Don’t focus on that part, but don’t try to tear down someone who is ok with.

Til next time…..

Update on my New Year Goals

Well, it has been some time since I wrote on my blog.  Half the year is gone and I have been thinking about how I have done with my goals for the new year.    There has been some good and some not so good.

The good has been that I successfully paid off one credit card and have managed to keep it paid off.  Now I’m working on the next one. I successfully eliminated meat from my diet for the entire month of January. It was an interesting and eye opening experience.  Once I put my mind to it, I did not have any issues at all with the no meat thing.  I altered a lot of meals to be meatless just by adding mushrooms.  I may decide to do another month in the future.

I was incredibly focused on my goals during the month of January, but one goal fell well short!  Physical fitness, weight loss, etc.  Honestly, I did nothing.  I concentrated on the eating and finances, but did not incorporate any changes to my exercise habits which is one thing that I really wanted to do.  I really do need to get it in gear for health reasons.  I am going to continue to work on this.

Well, that’s it.  I hope to have even better news to share in the future.

Til next time…..

Going Solo

***Lost Post*****

As a single girl, I often go to dinner and movies alone.  Tonight was the first time I had done it in a while and I noticed a lot of eyes on me.  Now, whenever I am being stared at, I instantly think something is wrong with the way I’m looking.  So I reach up to smooth down my hair or look for a mirror, but I realize that nothing is off in the way that I look. It’s just that I am alone.

The reason that I was being stared at was because I was dining alone.  Are people thinking that I have no friends?  Why would I be spending a Friday or Saturday night eating alone?  The truth?  I enjoy it.  I enjoy feeling like I do not need to wait on someone to go have a meal out, or go to a movie, or do anything that people would think is typical to do in groups.  Ultimately, I enjoy my alone time probably more than I should.  I think everyone should try it.  Just spend a little time to yourself enjoying a meal, a movie, or just a little people watch in the park.  I spend a lot of time just clearing my head and making plans.  Give it a try.  Let me know how it went.

Til next time……

 

 

Happy New Year! 2018

^The picture above was at my personal trainer’s studio many years ago.

It’s a new year!  I am extremely happy to see the back end of 2017.  It wasn’t a horrible year, but it wasn’t a great one either.  I honestly can’t say that I achieve a single goal that I wanted in 2017.  As a matter of fact, I was very lax in everything last year.  I did nothing.  Well, I’m determined to make this year different.  I honestly want to take charge of my health and finances this year.  I’ve decided to tackle it month by month instead of making a goal for the year.  Well, I guess taking charge of my health and finances would be my goal for 2018, but I’m going to break it down in monthly goals.

My health is something that I need to get in control of.  Here is the honest truth..I’m diabetic and I have high blood pressure.  It’s not a good thing.  At all.  About 10 years ago, this started to rear its ugly head and I did my best to get out in front of it by hiring a personal trainer to help me with my fitness.  I was very involved in my nutrition by reading and researching everything I could online.  I counted calories, I stopped eating processed food.  I stopped drinking soda. I had pizza every once in a while (maybe once every other month).  I was ON IT!  And I was successful.  I dropped 50 lbs.  I lost many many inches and I felt good.  But, it was hard!  Anyone who tells you healthy living is easy is lying to you.  It was hard.  It was so hard only drinking water and taking more than 10 minutes looking over a menu when going out with friends to see what I could eat.  It came easier with time, but..still…it was hard.  At some point, I hit a plateau and that is honestly the most frustrating part of losing weight.  Plus I started to have financial problems because the recession was starting to hit….so I ended up losing momentum.

Well, here we are many years later and I’ve completely gotten off the wagon. I stopped working out.  I stopped paying attention to what I’m eating and here I am..taking pills for blood pressure and diabetes.  I don’t like it at all, so it has to change.  My goal for the month of January is to exercise five days a week.  I have a treadmill in my bedroom right next to the bed.  There is no excuse to not hop on it almost every single day for an evening walk.  So…there it is.  In writing.  Five days a week in the month of January.  I will add on to this goal in February.  Small steps is all I need.

Next is finances.  My finances spiraled out of control last year.  I did start to change things in the fall of last year, so I just want to continue that path.  I hate being in debt.  I hate credit cards.  I would love to pay cash for everything and have extra cash on hand for emergencies. I hope to never have to pick up a credit card again!  Again, when I bought my house over 10 years ago, I was completely debt free.  I had paid off every single credit card I had.  It was great.  I felt so accomplished.  I had set a goal and followed through.  I was proud of myself for doing it.  Today, I have about five credit cards, all with balances.  I’m ready to get rid of them all and that’s going to be my goal for 2018.  The month of January, I’m tackling the first card.  Lowe’s.  My goal is to pay this card completely off in January.  It’s about $160, but that’s money that I can free up to tackle the next card.  I also plan on putting about $200 in savings during January.  I plan on doing this by not dining out AT ALL during the month of January.  I will only eat what I have in the house.  I will be doing a strict monthly budget so that I can work to get both of these goals done and maybe even get a running jump on the February goal.

Well…here we go.  It’s all in writing. These are my goals for January.  2018 is a year for advancement.  Same old me…just a better version.

What will you be doing in 2018?

Talk to you all soon……..