Ms. Independent?

I’m a forever single girl.  It’s my lot in life.  Because of this, I’m pretty independent.  I have to be. I don’t have anyone to fall back on if stuff happens.  The only person that I had to fall back on was my mom and she’s been gone for many years.  So now…it’s just me, and that’s ok.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a strange one because I spend the majority of my time alone and I like it. I’m used to it.  I grew up being used to it.  See, not only am I a single girl…I’m an only child.  I have always had to entertain myself when there was no one around.  I grew up spending a lot of time with friends and cousins, but mostly I was by myself.

When I was a teenager, I once saw this lady who I believe may have been in her 40’s walking across a street mumbling to herself about no needing anyone.  I always think this is a strange thing to remember because it was so random.  I sometimes wonder if that was younger me seeing a vision of older me? It’s odd to remember it so vividly, when I may not even remember what I had for dinner yesterday.

Sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have someone to lean on. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with things and it would be good to have someone say “I got you.” Then I come back to reality and just try my best to pull out my inner girl boss and handle stuff.

Anyways…these are just my early morning jumbled thoughts.

Til next time….

 

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My Grandmother

It’s my late grandmother’s birthday.  I was reminded of this by my aunts on Facebook, and I’m glad I was.  I called my grandmother, Mun.  I’m pretty sure it is because my mother and her siblings called her Ma, but I mistook it for Mun.  Now I just consider it my special name for her.  My grandmother passed away when I was seven years old.  I had such love for her.

I still remember things that we did.  I remember her making me cornbread and buttermilk, and even pig ears in vinegar.  This is stuff I would NEVER eat now.  My mom and aunts said that I was a picky eater and would never eat a lot of things, so my mun would just make me biscuits and I would always eat that.

I was with my grandmother a lot when I was a baby.  I loved spending the night at her house.  Her and my mom were the most influential people in my life.  I just remember how strong she was as a single woman (widowed) with eleven children. You didn’t mess with her either.  I never heard her complain about a thing.  She was an avid church goer and dragged all of her kids and grand kids along with her.  It was a huge family and she managed to keep us all together.  There are so many stories that I could probably share, but ultimately I just want to say Happy Birthday, Mun.  I love you.  I think of you a lot.  I hope that you and my mom are having the best time on your day.

Til next time….

New reading by Marlon Banks

My cousin wrote a book.  I can’t even explain how proud I am about this.  I believe he posted a few years ago on Facebook that he was trying to get a book published, but then I never heard any more about it.  Well, finally, it is done.  It is a book of poetry and short stories that feature his artwork.  See…he’s a super talented, creative person.  Here is the link to his book on Amazon The Permanent Light of Black.  Please support him if you are so inclined.

Til next time…..

 

44

Today is my birthday.  As with any birthday, I have a ton of thoughts going through my head.  Am I where I want to be in this life?  What are my goals for this birthday year?  Is age nothing but a number?

Ironically, I don’t think I have ever been afraid of getting older.  I don’t even think I really thought about it.  I always thought that as long as I was healthy and had a great quality of life…I’d be happy.  I can honestly say that is the case.  I don’t feel 44.  I don’t even think I act 44.  I’m still very young at heart and refuse to let society tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or be at any age.  My motto is and will always be, do what makes you happy. I still sing at the top of my lungs in my car.  I still dance around my bedroom like I’m 16.  Life is good!

So if I had anything so say about this birthday.  It is that 44 looks and feels great!  I’m living my best life right now.  I know that regrets are somewhat unavoidable, but I try to keep them to a minimum by just doing what I enjoy.

Birthday outfit:  Lane Bryant’s gingham collection – Off the shoulder shirdress – Sold out; Nordstrom Rack Ash Mumbaia sandals – Sold out

Talk to you all soon!

 

2017, Here I come.

It’s no secret that 2016 just was not kind to me.  I struggled with every aspect of my life.  My year was taken over by someone that was draining every bit of energy and joy from me and it affected me in a huge way.

I am determined to take my joy back this year though and just leave the past behind me.  I am ready to try very hard to make some big changes.  I want to work harder at keeping up with this blog.  My posts this past year was pretty sporadic, so I definitely want to change that.  I also want to work more on my fitness.  I want to get back to working out 5-6 times a week.  A few years ago, I had the best fitness regime and I want to get back to that. I also want to finish redecorating my bedroom.  I started that last year, but just stopped toward the middle of the year because I was so stressed about everything else. So now I sit in a half painted bedroom.   My new year resolution is always to be happy.  I don’t believe that I was last year, so I’m going to work on making that happen this year.  With my mom’s house pretty sorted, I feel that I should be able to get back to myself.

So….here’s to a new year! I hope it is wonderful for us all.

Talk to you all soon….

 

 

Love/Hate Tag

I recently saw this tag and thought it was pretty simple to do.  It also will be fun to come up with my list, so here I go.

10 things I love

1.  Weekends.  I’m living for them.

2.  Great music.  The kind that makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs and can’t help dancing to.

3.  Going to the beach anywhere.  There is nothing like sitting on the beach watching the water and just relaxing

4.  My house.  I just love being at home.

5.  YouTube.  I’m obsessed with daily vlogs.  I also just love that you can find anything you need to learn about.

6.  Social media.  I love reading what other people are getting into.

7.  Finding new clothes or cosmetics. You know…me being a shopping addict and all.

8.  Peace.  I love having time to myself.

9.  Summer.  It’s my favorite season.  I know it can get really really hot, but that’s better than the cold.

10.  Being genuinely happy about anything.

10 things I hate

1.  People over-complicating anything.  Keep it simple, please.  Everything doesn’t have to be so difficult.

2.  Fighting/arguing.  I just have never been a fan of cruelty or meanness.

3. Anyone taking advantage of me.

4.  Cleaning, I just deep cleaned my house and I still hurt.

5.  Cold weather

6.  Not being able to figure out this thing we call life.

7.  Diet soft drinks.  Accidentally giving me a diet drink is the one thing a restaurant can do to make me truly mad.

8.  Reality tv.  I don’t really like scripted reality.  What’s real about that?

9.  Racism/Sexism, etc.  – Anything with people hating others for who they are.  Learn to accept people’s differences.  I still struggle with understanding this kind of hatred.  It’s disgusting.

10.  Being sick.  I get so whiny.