How does a person go about making a life change? Let me do a quick flashback..
I remember a conversation that I had with my mother a long time ago. She was possibly the same age that I am not or a little older. She was telling me how she was frustrated and wished that she could do something different with her life. She was speaking about a new career. Now, my mother had a city job for as long as I could remember but she felt….unaccomplished? Or bored? I don’t know. I remember my response to her, “Well, why don’t you get a new job?” Now I think…oh from the mouths of babes. 🙂
Now I’m at the age that she was and seemingly at a similar crossroad. I realize now why she was so scared to make a change. She had a good job, she could provide for her family, and she knew what to expect every day. It is so stressful to make a life change when there are responsibilities involved. Now, I admit, my decision is a little easier for me since I don’t have children but still….changing a career or making a big move is hard. My biggest and toughest decision so far was going back to school! But anyway, I think about this story a lot because at the time, I didn’t understand. I had so many jobs by the time I was 23, that I just thought if you were tired of something, you just changed it. But I had my mom to rely on. If something didn’t work out for me, I could just go home.
Well, my mom passed away almost 10 years ago now, so making these decisions are so much harder. I can’t go home anymore. I have to live with the decisions that I make and hope for the best. I am continually questioning myself on everything. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. How do I go about making a plan? What do I really want to do with the rest of my life? Am I having a mid-life crisis?
So here I am, on the road to some big life changes. It feels as if I’m just rolling with the punches and I had hoped I would not be doing that. I’m trying to be confident in my decisions, but I’m telling you….fear is getting the best of me. BUT….I’m still trotting on. I’m trying to face those negative and scary thoughts and just keep my goal in mind. I saw a glimpse of my dream last weekend. It was a beautiful boutique that I go in frequently, but is nearly exactly what I want. I hope I make it there.
Wow! I can say that I was one of the fortunate people that actually made it home last night even though it took me ten hours to do so. It was unbelievable what I saw out there yesterday. Cars were just stuck on ice or parked on the side of the road because drivers had given up on even attempting to get home. I understand that. By the time I got home, my nerves were shot. I went straight to bed after eating a handful of fruit snacks.
Now, I moved to the South to get away from the snow and cold, so it always annoys me when I have to deal with it and the situations that occur because of it. I immediately thought to myself that I need to move to yet another warm climate. But then, I was moved by all the good Samaritans that I encountered. There were civilians who came from their warm houses to try to help all the stranded drivers out of the ice. There were some who even had boxes of salt, to put down under car tires to help the motorists. Finally, when I was oh so close to home at 10pm last night, there was a couple out walking down the road offering muffins and water to the drivers that had been out there for possibly more than eight hours like myself! I was to nervous to take anything to eat or drink because I was afraid it would make me have to find a restroom. I had done well with that so far.
I am still having trouble even comprehending everything that happened. All I can say is that I have never seen anything like it and hope that I never do again. The biggest lesson learned? Although Georgia may get on television saying how ready they are for the storm, they are not. Georgia DOT will never be able to handle snow and ice in an effective way so next time snow and ice is predicted….I’m staying home.
This week I have been thinking about this saying. I have just realized that there is also a book based on this saying/theory. I have been trying to practice doing this during the week. There seems as if there is so much going on that I am just trying to concentrate on one thing at a time and don’t let the little things overwhelm me. I’m sure there will be huge hiccups in life that I will have to concentrate on more!
Do you ever just want to get in the car and just drive until you run out of gas? I have dreamed about doing this so many times and just live in whatever small town I land in. Whenever I envision myself doing this, I always see me working in some diner like the movie, Alice doesn’t live here anymore, and better yet the series that followed, Alice!
I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like starting all over again. Lately, I have wanted to toss everything out of my house and just….start over. I think that this feeling is just a metaphor for how junky my life feels. It’s not just the things, it’s everything. Everything just feels a complete mess. What would it be like to not have feelings? Not have a care in the world? Not feel pain, sadness, boredom, etc. Is that selfishness?
Overwhelmed with feelings and maybe just a little sleep deprived.
I was watching Wedding Date the other evening and sat their wondering why cheesy, romantic comedies please me so much. I’m still trying to figure that out but for two hours on Monday night, while I was skipping out of my music class, I was happily watching this movie on cable. I escaped into another place and wondered what if I were in this movie? How would I feel? What would I be doing? Hmmm…wonder what kind of man $6000 from my 401k could get me? Would he look like Dermot Mulroney?
Just the randomness in my brain.
Well, here it is. The time for a fresh new start. Toast to 364 days to make some positive changes in life. Not that it takes the beginning of the new year to make positive changes, but just the fact that it’s a new year makes it feel as if life has given me another do-over! Well sorta…..
Anyways, I’m going to be updating on all those resolutions that I made yesterday as well as some other things that are hopefully interesting.
It’s almost treadmill time. Enjoy your day.