Ms. Independent?

I’m a forever single girl.  It’s my lot in life.  Because of this, I’m pretty independent.  I have to be. I don’t have anyone to fall back on if stuff happens.  The only person that I had to fall back on was my mom and she’s been gone for many years.  So now…it’s just me, and that’s ok.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a strange one because I spend the majority of my time alone and I like it. I’m used to it.  I grew up being used to it.  See, not only am I a single girl…I’m an only child.  I have always had to entertain myself when there was no one around.  I grew up spending a lot of time with friends and cousins, but mostly I was by myself.

When I was a teenager, I once saw this lady who I believe may have been in her 40’s walking across a street mumbling to herself about no needing anyone.  I always think this is a strange thing to remember because it was so random.  I sometimes wonder if that was younger me seeing a vision of older me? It’s odd to remember it so vividly, when I may not even remember what I had for dinner yesterday.

Sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have someone to lean on. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with things and it would be good to have someone say “I got you.” Then I come back to reality and just try my best to pull out my inner girl boss and handle stuff.

Anyways…these are just my early morning jumbled thoughts.

Til next time….

 

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My Grandmother

It’s my late grandmother’s birthday.  I was reminded of this by my aunts on Facebook, and I’m glad I was.  I called my grandmother, Mun.  I’m pretty sure it is because my mother and her siblings called her Ma, but I mistook it for Mun.  Now I just consider it my special name for her.  My grandmother passed away when I was seven years old.  I had such love for her.

I still remember things that we did.  I remember her making me cornbread and buttermilk, and even pig ears in vinegar.  This is stuff I would NEVER eat now.  My mom and aunts said that I was a picky eater and would never eat a lot of things, so my mun would just make me biscuits and I would always eat that.

I was with my grandmother a lot when I was a baby.  I loved spending the night at her house.  Her and my mom were the most influential people in my life.  I just remember how strong she was as a single woman (widowed) with eleven children. You didn’t mess with her either.  I never heard her complain about a thing.  She was an avid church goer and dragged all of her kids and grand kids along with her.  It was a huge family and she managed to keep us all together.  There are so many stories that I could probably share, but ultimately I just want to say Happy Birthday, Mun.  I love you.  I think of you a lot.  I hope that you and my mom are having the best time on your day.

Til next time….

So cheesy, but I love it

I was watching Wedding Date the other evening and sat their wondering why cheesy, romantic comedies please me so much. I’m still trying to figure that out but for two hours on Monday night, while I was skipping out of my music class, I was happily watching this movie on cable. I escaped into another place and wondered what if I were in this movie? How would I feel? What would I be doing? Hmmm…wonder what kind of man $6000 from my 401k could get me?  Would he look like Dermot Mulroney?

Just the randomness in my brain.