I recently posted on Facebook that I kinda miss my 24 year old self. It’s true. I miss that girl. She had so many dreams and was fearless about what was to come. At 24, I made the decision to leave home and drive 800+ miles to live in Georgia. I had such plans. I was going to become successful! Now, I did not have those dreams of singing, acting, etc. I just wanted to become this great business woman that would provide me with the ability to take care of my mother. That was my dream. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Thinking back to it now, I realize why it did not happen. I did not have a plan. I had no clue what I wanted to do. All I knew when I got here is that I needed a job to be able to pay bills and keep food on my table. Not a bad goal. After all, my mother didn’t raise someone show shirks responsibility. I had to be level headed and needed to know how I was going to make it in this big city.
Unfortunately, due to that feeling of being responsible, I got caught up on the normality of a decent paying job and lost sight of my real goal that caused me to leave Wisconsin. So, now I am asking myself “what happened to that 24 year old girl?” I need to get a hold of her again and we need to talk so that we can get back on track with our dreams.
I am loving this blue and white skater dress from Lane Bryant. This morning, I was running a little late and needed to throw on something quickly for work so here I am along with a few items that I am loving recently. The dress has pockets which definitely comes in handy when I am walking around the office.
Oh, I recently purchased a new Dior Fluid stick. I really like it. It does not feel extremely glossy, but it gives a decent shine. It is somewhat like a stain, but it does not last as long as a matte lipstick such as Ruby Woo, but it lasts a decent amount of time. I wore it all morning and it didn’t fade until lunch. I am loving my Anastasia brow wiz. I completely underestimated the power of filling in my brows. I don’t think I will ever go back to not doing that.
Striped Skater Dress from Lane Bryant $74.95
Black Nine West Sandals $39.99
Kate Spade Silver bow bracelet $19.00
Love Necklace – Gift from a friend
This purse by Kate Spade makes me happy. I have been struggling to find the perfect purse for me. The ones that I had were just to large. I would often lose things in the bottom of them, which is my pet peeve. I love pretty purses and tend to splurge and buy one every 6 months or so. I lucked up on this one because it was on clearance at the Kate Spade New York Outlet. It is navy and white. Now, it is a style that they carry regularly, however I think this one was on clearance because it is stark white. There is a two toned one that is not clearance, that is more of an off white as the main color. I have had this for about two weeks and I really love it. It’s not to deep that things sink to the bottom and cause you to have to dump out all of the contents to locate that one thing. It has the standard compartment for a phone and a zip pocket inside, and the one zip pocket outside. It’s a beauty. I think I am set for the summer.
Today would have been my mother’s 60th birthday. It has been a bitter sweet day. I thought of her the entire day and wondered what we would talk about if I could call her on the phone. Actually, I think I know what I would have talked about. I would have just rambled on about my job, school, her sisters, and just everything under the sun. She would have given me advice that I probably didn’t want to listen to even though it was right.
My mom had her opinions about everything, but most of the time she let me make my own way. There are bits of guidance that she gave me that still makes me laugh today…such as not messing up my credit or not dating “island men”. My mom was funny. She dedicated her life to giving me a good life. I honestly believe that most of the things that mom did in her adult life was to give me a better one than she had. I felt that my mom was proud of me when I moved from Wisconsin and got a decent job in Georgia. It’s true that the heart grows fonder when you are apart because coming home to my mom was so special after I moved away. I loved being with her even though she always did those annoying things that mom’s do, such as make you get up and do things for them when you really don’t want to. 🙂
My mom passed away just 4 months shy of her 50th birthday of Pulmonary Fibrosis and other illnesses related to it. I loved my mother. In everything I do, I wonder if she would be happy about it. I wonder if she would still be proud of the woman that I have become. I wonder if she would realize how much I am like her and how much she impacted my life. I wonder if she knew how much I love her. I didn’t get to say it enough. I hope you know how much you meant to me. I hope you know how much I miss you and wish that we could talk. So this post is just for my mom. Mommy, I love you. Happy Birthday. I wish you were here with me.
This is not uncommon for me, but today I have been feeling a little bit stressed. I’m more than a little overwhelmed with work and school. I’m sure that it is partially my procrastination issue, but also my need to please everyone. I need some excellent coping tactics. Maybe I just need a vacation! I have one coming up. I am hoping that will help with this exhausted feeling.
This morning, this is the makeup that I am using. I am trying to make more of an effort to use all of the makeup that I have, so I am finding that blogging about it is helping with that endeavor.
Marc Jacobs Starlet eyeshadow pallet (I used the darkest color this morning)
Mac’s Raizin blush
Rimmel’s Stay Matte Primer (sometimes I prefer to just use this instead of foundation.)
Cargo lip gloss (Sorry, I don’t remember the color)
Bath and Body works Paris In Bloom body spray
I must have been feeling wonderful this morning because I felt like wearing make up. Not typical on the weekends for me, but anyway…this is what I wore.
Foundation – Tarte amazionian clay full coverage airbrush foundation in rich sand
Blush – Tarte amazonian clay 12 hour blush in blushing bride
Eyeshadow – Urban Decay Asphyxia (New buy! It’s beautiful)
Lips – Maybelline colorsensational elixir in amethyst potion
Scent – Victoria Secret’s Pink Spring Break (bought this last year during the semi-annual sale and wish I could find a bigger bottle. I love it.)
All winter, I had been looking for new ankle boots. Low and behold, at the beginning of Spring, I finally find a pair that I like. I’m not really a warm weather boot wearer, so these lucky finds will have to wait until the fall. Aren’t they cute?
How do you handle stress? My doctor once told me that I didn’t handle stress well. She’s right. Most of the time when I have to much going on and to many demands on me, I want to just abandon everything. I used to go to a private area and cry for about ten minutes, but I have stopped doing that. It never worked anyway.
So, what to do? I usually just take a few breaths to try to calm myself down. I tell myself to stop over-reacting and just take a minute to do something unrelated to the thing that is causing me stress. Sometimes, I eat sweets (definitely not the best solution for me).
Anyway, it’s a work in process. I’m still trying to figure out how to become that calm, cool, and collected person that I would like to be. It’s right up there on my list to become extremely smart and successful.
This week I have been thinking about this saying. I have just realized that there is also a book based on this saying/theory. I have been trying to practice doing this during the week. There seems as if there is so much going on that I am just trying to concentrate on one thing at a time and don’t let the little things overwhelm me. I’m sure there will be huge hiccups in life that I will have to concentrate on more!